Best. Husband. Ever.

After much debate, I decided that a picture of Booker's first poop in the potty is not blog appropriate but it's definitely worth blogging about because I am one proud mama right now. We are definitely not close to being fully potty-trained but at least we're thinking about it. On a related note, you know your life is drastically different when you must change the lyrics to a certain Kings of Leon song to "your socks are on fire" because your toddler is singing along with you. The time to pay close attention to music lyrics, TV shows, magazines and bad words has arrived. Sigh. I hate growing up.

And on an unrelated note, last night Clark asked why I have never written an adoring blog post about him and how wonderful he is. Perhaps the biggest reason is because those blog posts seem boring and typical to me. And they also seem a little impersonal (for Clark) and way too personal (for the blogging world). How about I just tell you how wonderful and amazing you are to your face, or better yet, I'll let you know tonight after we get the kids to bed...

So to teach Clark a lesson, I'm taking a page from Carly and Daniel's book (or blog) and I will publicly declare 5 things Clark needs to do in order to stay married to me....

1. Make more money. We all know the key to a successful marriage is MONEY. I want a flat screen TV above Ike's crib so I don't have to actually look at my kid while I'm feeding him.

2. Quit making me hang out with your crazy family. You drag me up to Mesa every other weekend to hang out with YOUR family. In fact, in order to stay married to me we have to move to Cairo immediately so I can enjoy the experience of both living in a third world country and living in a third world country with my mom.

3. Spend more time with your kids. Its not enough that you are met on the driveway each evening by a toddler wielding a baseball bat. Its not enough that you throw the ball to him between bites of your dinner and that measly little hour you spend reading stories to him each night is definitely NOT ENOUGH. Also, grow a pair of breasts so you can spend more time with "the other one."

4. Lighten up. Don't take everything so seriously. I've never known someone who is as easily offended as you. I'm sorry I made fun of your retarded dishwasher-loading skills. QUIT CRYING ABOUT IT.

5. Give me your iPhone. That one is serious. Give it to me. I want it.