Texts out of context

I have a friend who does a weekly blog round up of funny text messages out of context. I'm going to take a page from her book and do something similar but I'll provide a little bit of context- last week someone close to me was harmed in a way that is unimaginable to me. While these aren't all text messages and they aren't exactly funny, they do a good job of summarizing the past few days...

Me: I like having Opi around. She's like the canine manifestation of you. Blonde even. ;)

Marie: Omg. That is awesome. 

(with accompanying picture)

Don't they say a conservative is just a liberal who has been mugged? I never imagined I would allow a gun in my home, let alone consider owning one...

And lastly, a text from one of my most favorite people on the planet. 

Carly: And this is what I wanted to comment on fb but daniel said it was inappropriate: your dad has the power to guarantee this guy will be castrated, right? When is a better time than now to exercise the darker side of his ambassadorial privileges?

I didn't get to respond to you last night, Carly, because I was too overcome with relief. While I'm fairly certain that diplomatic immunity wouldn't cover that, perhaps his "ambassadorial privileges" would be able to obtain an official pardon for me when I do it myself. 

Thank you for all your prayers and concern for the people I care about. Seriously, thank you. 

Loss

I'm at a loss for words. At least for words that make sense. I apologize.

On Monday, I went to Phoenix to hang out with my siblings.

On Tuesday, things got busy and photos from our evening together sat unpublished in my draft folder.

On Wednesday, it happened.

Monday and Tuesday are pre and now things are post. I thought about burying the photos somewhere deep in my hard drive, delete draft. They weren't relevant anymore. We were changed. It felt phony.

Why were we smiling? Because it was pre. And now it is post. We had no idea.

Delete draft. Bury the evidence. No reminders of pre. No matter how lovely they are. And let me tell you, they were lovely and involved Arabic food.

Except, the thing about post is that no matter how loathsome it is... you have to carry on. And sometimes that evidence from before (before you knew, before it happened, before the world became pre and post), is helpful when it comes to the carrying on part.

So while I hesitate to share my siblings with you, for they are precious to me and I want to protect them...

And while I hesitate to share these photos with you, for they will never be recreated exactly so and that stings my heart...

I will because I want you to know that the love we have for each other runs deep and it is unbreakable and allows us to carry each other on.





And since I seem to have a perverse habit of trying to be funny in the middle of a crisis, here's one more of all five of us. Yes, I'm being vague. No, this does not mean my brother David has died and come back to haunt us with his floating head. I just miss him is all.



And yes, it is strange to be hashing this out so soon after the fact but it's amazing how much time you have on your hands when you don't sleep. Plus my writing thoughts are much more acceptable to me than the sick, twisted and violent thoughts that have been creeping into my head and leave me feeling terrified and ashamed. 

Spring Break Sibling Love

My brother Chris is visiting for his spring break. Here's a quick run down of what he's been doing according to my phone camera. Don't worry, more blogging to follow with actual photos from my camera.

Eating raspados...


Morphing into a human jungle gym...


Wearing Yoda ties to church...


Viewing the top of my head, he's THAT tall...


Hiking to see some ancient petroglyphs...


Admiring some saguaros...


Exchanging friendships bracelets with his brother (and yes, buying new jeans without huge holes- two nice pairs from H&M)...


Enjoying Arab cuisine...


Spending WAY too long trying all the flavor combinations on the Coke Freestyle dispenser (I think he FINALLY decided on Peach Sprite).


And hey, he's here for two more days! Can't wait for more Chris adventures.