Today I wore a white skirt to church and during Sunday school I had to get up in front of everyone to pee (don't worry, this isn't going anywhere bad). As I walked out of the gym, I thought to myself, "What if my water broke right now or I started bleeding all over my white skirt?" Well, here was my conclusion: I wouldn't be embarrassed ONE BIT. In fact, I would jump up, do a heel click, scream "SEE YA, SUCKERS" and run all the way to the hospital.
I'm so done being pregnant. For every day that this baby continues to stay inside of me, I'm going to withhold an ounce of breast milk/formula from his feedings. I'm having terrible thoughts... like maybe I should just schedule the c-section and at least have a date to look forward to. When I see other pregnant women, I imagine inflicting pain upon them if they have their babies before me. Its getting bad.
I know I officially still have two weeks left, but I'm telling you, this guy is done cooking. I really believe that he'd be fine coming anytime now. There have been a lot of indications that labor is right around the corner (I'll spare you the disgusting details, I won't spare Clark though, poor guy) but still nothing. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I even tried castor oil on Thursday night. It made me horribly sick and gave me painful (but irregular contractions) for about a day. Then nothing. I go walking at the mall for hours at a time. I'm even taking evening primrose oil and red raspberry leaf supplements, and I HATE all that homeopathic junk. It seems like every other pregnant woman this far along is getting induced or at least has the option of doing so. I've got a deadline (at 40 weeks, my only option is a c-section) and I can't be induced. So my body better do what its supposed to and it better do it soon.
So what are your labor-inducing suggestions? I'll do anything at this point. I've got another doctor's appointment tomorrow and if there's no progress, I'm going to go find a rattlesnake and let it sink its venomous fangs into my gigantic belly.