Sunday, August 10, 2008

SO DONE

Today I wore a white skirt to church and during Sunday school I had to get up in front of everyone to pee (don't worry, this isn't going anywhere bad). As I walked out of the gym, I thought to myself, "What if my water broke right now or I started bleeding all over my white skirt?" Well, here was my conclusion: I wouldn't be embarrassed ONE BIT. In fact, I would jump up, do a heel click, scream "SEE YA, SUCKERS" and run all the way to the hospital. 

I'm so done being pregnant. For every day that this baby continues to stay inside of me, I'm going to withhold an ounce of breast milk/formula from his feedings. I'm having terrible thoughts... like maybe I should just schedule the c-section and at least have a date to look forward to. When I see other pregnant women, I imagine inflicting pain upon them if they have their babies before me. Its getting bad. 

I know I officially still have two weeks left, but I'm telling you, this guy is done cooking. I really believe that he'd be fine coming anytime now. There have been a lot of indications that labor is right around the corner (I'll spare you the disgusting details, I won't spare Clark though, poor guy) but still nothing. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I even tried castor oil on Thursday night. It made me horribly sick and gave me painful (but irregular contractions) for about a day. Then nothing. I go walking at the mall for hours at a time. I'm even taking evening primrose oil and red raspberry leaf supplements, and I HATE all that homeopathic junk. It seems like every other pregnant woman this far along is getting induced or at least has the option of doing so. I've got a deadline (at 40 weeks, my only option is a c-section) and I can't be induced. So my body better do what its supposed to and it better do it soon. 

So what are your labor-inducing suggestions? I'll do anything at this point. I've got another doctor's appointment tomorrow and if there's no progress, I'm going to go find a rattlesnake and let it sink its venomous fangs into my gigantic belly. 

7 comments:

sherry said...

Bowling. Something about body position is supposed to do the trick. ANd when you are walking around, use a curb if you can. One foot on one foot off. Then there is the black (or blue, can't remember)cohosh. That one I have never tried, but it is really supposed to do the trick. Dangerous for some reason. You'll have to google it. Rebecca's friend Michelle is always able to put herself into labor when she wants to. Maybe you should ask her.

Emily said...

You are so funny!! I feel your pain though. I'm sure I will be getting really desperate in a couple weeks. I did the black or blue (can't remember which) cohosh with Rachel and it put me into labor. I also did castor oil with it (just a little) and that pushed me over the edge. You can do it!! Not much longer!

How about Tuesday for lunch? You pick.
ps. Rachel has been going around saying "Booker" since she woke up this morning.

Michelle said...

If you start having contractions that seem somewhat close together - do "it". And lay there. (gross, i know). Let the "stuff" stay in there. Tilt your pelvis. The hormone in the "stuff" is the same hormone used in the "gel" to get you going... call me if you don't get it :) Beck has my number.
Seriously - works every time. I'm 5 for 5 for having early babies! and I'm hoping it will work for me one last time in October.

blaine and michelle said...

Ask your doctor to strip your membranes. Never worked for me, but my sister swears by it.

Melissa said...

I am really, really sorry for you right now. I was allowed to be induced during my first VBAC and I wish I'd done it earlier. Nothing's ever worked for me--I've tried walking way too much, jumping around, membrane stripping, even the sex thing. :) Only thing that is constant is that when my water breaks, the baby comes about five minutes later. I hope your baby comes soon!

Shelli said...

Sex and swimming ... not necessarily at the same time, but who knows?

P.S. I'm your cousin-in-law Shelli from California. I found you from Sherry's blog, and I've been lurking because I think you're so darn funny!

Little Red said...

These are all good suggestions. Maybe we'll go bowling for family night. I had my membranes stripped today and it hurt something AWFUL. I don't think its going to do much though.