Huge, tired, lazy.
That first trimester exhaustion has returned, my back is killing me, my hands go completely numb at night, I pee all the time, my clothes don't fit, my immune system is shot and my list of complaints goes on and on and on. Just ask Clark. Mostly though, I have this sick feeling of dread. I'm scared.
I hate being a new mom. I'm not looking forward to it at all. It's difficult, it's isolating. Your world is turned upside down for a period of time. Wacky hormones, lack of sleep, leaky orifices. It's awful and there's no avoiding it.
Since getting back from vacation, I can no longer avoid the reality that faces me. I've got baby clothes to sort and wash, a nursery to put together and a house to clean top to bottom. And somewhere in there, I need to prepare emotionally for that scary new mom phase.
But before all that happens, I had the opportunity to recharge.
Last weekend, some of my best girlfriends flew into Phoenix from Boston, Austin and Provo/Orem. We spent the weekend at a hotel in Tucson doing... absolutely nothing. It was heaven. I was totally off duty as wife/mother. In fact, when Clark and I pulled into our driveway at 10 o'clock at night after having spent the day in Sedona, I refused to even come into the house. I got straight into Clark's car and drove off to join my girlfriends at the hotel. I was serious about being off duty. Although I did take one call from my friend Danielle who was watching my kids. Booker had one of his monthly migraines at her house and turned into a screaming demon child in a matter of seconds, threw up all over her carpet and promptly passed out on the floor. Good timing, buddy. I owe you one, Danielle! Seriously. I owe you big time. No one should have to deal with Booker when he's like that.
Anyways, it was a fabulous weekend of chatting, sleeping, eating and basking in the sun. Glorious! And much needed. Sure, I had just returned from a three week vacation overseas, but I really needed a vacation from that vacation and this weekend was the perfect fix.
We hiked around Sabino Canyon.
I use the term hiking loosely since two of us are pregnant.
Ate Sonoran dogs at El Guero Canelo.
Consumed obscene amounts of calories at Cheesecake Factory.
And just enjoyed the great company. I've known Jen, Julia and Carly since junior year at Belmont High (is that 11 years, now?) And we all met Mel our freshmen year at BYU while living in David John Hall.
One of my favorites aspects of the weekend was being able to talk "pregnant" with Jen and Carly. The three of us are just weeks apart, so naturally we had much to discuss. In order of due dates- me with baby boy #3, Carly with baby girl #2 and Jen with baby boy #1. I can't wait for April/May when the text messages start rolling in. I want weekly cervical updates, ladies!
Thank you, girls for the fabulous weekend. And a big thank you to Clark for holding down the fort and for the clean house I returned to. There is nothing like a weekend escape with your girlfriends to help you get reenergized and prepared for the hard times to come, even if that escape is still in the neighborhood. How about Raleigh, NC in two years time?