Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Dish

I've been disappointed with my blogging self lately. Things have gotten pretty impersonal around here and that makes me sad. I haven't pulled out my camera in ages, which is about to change shortly when the holiday photo season starts. But that just means I'll be taking pictures of other people's families and not my own. Again, feeling sad. Things need to change.

Some of my closest girlfriends from high school/college and I have a habit of group emailing so we can stay current with each other now that we're all spread out across the country. We dish about the sorts of things that never get published on blogs and Facebook. So in an attempt to breathe some life back into my blog, I'm going to try to write (somewhat) like I'm writing to my closest girlfriends...

Where to start? How about here. Clark was recently presented with an opportunity to pursue a job overseas. There's nothing quite like the possibility of moving to force you to sit down and really evaluate how much you like your life (like point by point). I really want to live overseas one day, but I also highly value my right to drive a vehicle and my short sleeved shirts and my ability to go places without my husband's permission (if you're getting my Saudi drift). I also highly value the other things I enjoy in my life right now... great friends, a fantastic neighborhood, a huge ward that I love, support from Clark's family, living near my sister, good healthcare and school options and on and on and on. So no, we're not moving anytime soon. It wasn't the right opportunity. But it sure did make me feel wanderlustful.

On being a mom. Adding a third kid to the mix is tricky, especially if that third kid is Asher. He's a handful. Hot and cold. Sweet and sour. Sadly I'm starting to fall into "pregnancy watch" territory, what with Asher being at the ripe old age of 18 months. If he were an easier kid, maybe. There are days when I honestly feel like we might be done having kids. Other days, I feel like I can go another round...  a year or two from now. I'm sad that I no longer have the energy to do the things I did as the mom of one. Like really sad.

On my calling. Truthfully? Although this occupies a huge part of my heart right now, I hesitate to share about it so publicly. I'll just say that I LOVE working with the young women in our ward. Absolutely love it. I feel a tremendous amount of pressure though. Those years for me, were so pivotal in my life. I spend too much time worrying about how some of my unorthodox leanings might affect impressionable young ladies and not enough time simply sharing my love of the gospel with them. I have a lot of room for improvement.

On accomplishing goals. I started running. For someone else, this wouldn't be newsworthy but I'm proud that I've stuck with it. Regardless of where my weight is at, I will always feel like a fat girl on the inside. So with each mile run, I'm astonished with what my body is capable of. I wish I appreciated my body more ten years ago instead of hating it as much as I did. Bodies. What a great gift they are.

The best for last. On being married 7 years. I have a terrible habit of under-appreciating the things in my life that come naturally. Even if they are most precious to me. This is true of my marriage. In the last 7 years, I can count on one hand the number of fights we've had and I remember each of them distinctly. Two of them involved Clark accidentally ruining my carpet and probably (probably? most definitely) some degree of PMS on my part. It's obnoxious when people brag about how easy their marriage is. I'm not saying we haven't had our heartaches. Believe me, we have. But I'll save the dish on those for the actual emails to my girlfriends. I'm just saying that the heartaches are manageable because the easy times have made them worth managing. I've made it clear in the past that I really dislike public blogging displays of affection (too disingenuous) but since today is all about getting personal, can I just say... Holy crap, I love that man. 


Amelia said...

I'm pretty sure there is something about three kids. Before I had three I always thought I wanted four, but you know, three might be just the right number and I'm sure that your gifts and talents will be so necessary for the YW you serve. I was in YW for awhile and I still love and care for those girls, even though some of them are married and on missions It is a great thing to be involved in.

Melissa said...

Some of those girls are going to need your "unorthodox leanings" to get them through their teenage years. I know I would have loved having you as a YW leader.

Carly said...

I really am going to try to get an email out today! First, glad for selfish reasons you aren't going to the Middle East right now. And 2 kids has been much harder than I imagined. Probably won't go for 3 until Sadie is in Kindergarten. I want you to be my YW leader. And so impressed with your running. And stop bragging about your perfect marriage Margaret. Geez get a room.